Oh joy and bliss!  Berries arrived in my box of food, rhubarb as well.  Child laid claim to a whole punnet of raspberries to himself and therefore, in self defence, I broke out the dehydrator to preserve half the berries.  I'm going to be storing these to add to muesli during the winter when I get bored with adding apples.  I have some dates too, but I do like having some variety, and I figure these will fit the bill.  I can even add some to muffins; I've had good results with dried mulberries.

And speaking of muesli, I've made some toasted stuff again last night to eat. I also end up sharing quite a bit of it with the birds outside.  When I tend to forget to eat on a regular basis, having muesli and yoghurt on hand is vital.  

I'm looking forward to making some rhubarb/apple crumble today, and I've spied some elder trees in flower today.  I think they're on the rear path.  I'm going to have to check and see where they are, and check the smell to see if they're worth harvesting.  I've got a few bottles I can use to bottle up some cordial.

Still here!

Yep, still here.  And still waiting.  I have a feeling I'll be waiting on the bathroom adaptations for some time.  Also waiting to hear when child's Tribunal hearing will be, and the hope we can get it bumped up to June rather than the utterly ludicrous July the LEA has petitioned for.  Yes, I've finally written to MPs and have tried to find other ways to get the pressure on.  I don't think papers will help much and I don't want to be subjected to comments from Hard-Working-Taxpayers (apparently, I'm not one, news to me) who think I should just have killed my son off when he was born.  The rhetoric against disabled has done its job too well.

So, we're here, indoors a lot due to rain.  Yesterday was a gorgeous day but I wasn't able to get child outside even for five minutes.  I despair.  I went out instead and painted while he played video games, and even considered a BBQ but after The Incident with my firepit I'm not even remotely keen to give a go.  I've invested in a smoker instead which I've wanted for a while anyway - it's not big, and it will also need a few modifications to run better but it's stage-one complete to making our own bacon and bbq's.

Painting progresses, albeit slowly.  I hope to have the two works-in-progress done by the end of the month, ready for sale or for prints.  My new sofa is due soon, which will be nice as I want to start re-arranging my living room space and get more comfy seating - the daybed is going this weekend so I'll be completely seating-free for a bit until then.  The good news is I suspect this will greatly open up the living room space.  Next will come two desks, and then more storage-space to sort out the clutter in my room.  I'm considering options for child's room, but I'm not sure yet.  The room is so tiny it's nearly impossible to do anything with it.  I am trying to do the long-haul stuff while I have money so everything is done.  I've not got very high hopes about my finances next spring so I want to be sure to take care of as much as possible while I can sort it out.

On the upswing, the realisation finally kicked in that giving me responsibility of direct payments, paperwork, payrolls and extra faff for a whole four hours a month wasn't worth the bother.  So, finally the CFS team has managed to give me four hours a week, and they're paying the carer directly.  Victory!  I've not only got even more coverage out of it, it's done and dusted as far as emergency trips or issues if I get ill.

A good thing as this afternoon I'm feeling a bit meh; fever coming out of nowhere, sore throat, feeling run down.  It figures I'd get sick about now - no medication either.  So I'll just have to carry on and, in true messed-up spoonie fashion, if I'm feeling sufficiently hell that actually looks good when seeing a specialist as they don't really think you're sick unless you look crap.

When in doubt, paint.

I just can't sit still, waiting, waiting, waiting to see what's going to happen, or what will be son's fate in the school system.  The LEA now says they can't attend till July.  This has gone beyond a joke now and therefore we're trying to put a motion in to the Panel that we stick with the previous date and if the witnesses can't come (or the LEA itself) then too bad.  Considering it's been a year now, and they're aware how pressing the issue is, I hope they'll support our insistence - it's been done before so it's not an anomaly.

So we're waiting.  Child got excluded again for, believe it or not "raising his voice."  I won't say anything more as my ex-husband has decided he's going to pursue advice and options.  Child still in school only an hour and a half a day, and our spring has disappeared into wet and gloomy weather so we're stuck indoors without being able to do much gardening.  I snuck out yesterday to gather nettles and cleavers to dry but it started pouring halfway through so back inside I came!  Still, I've a jar of cleaver/nettle herb for teas in the winter, and if I'm quick I can gather a bit more this week before the flower heads set.

Still, we're inside a lot.  After one too many drops-to-the-floor, child's computer no longer connects to the internet.  This has meant a lot of what he calls "videos" - most of which just involve him yelling into the camera and jumping onto his bed in repetitive prat-falls.  It's loud, but it's keeping him occupied.

For my part, rather than cook as I'm trying to trim down a bit, I've been painting.  The work and progress up there is "Sunna", Norse Goddess of the Sun.  Well, if I can't see Her outside, I'll paint Her instead!  I still need to figure out how to do lips properly as she just looks like she's had a botox appointment, but we're getting there!  

I have missed painting very much; I'm glad to be doing it again.  A lot of artists I know complain art isn't selling well with the austerity woes, and that's true if you're trying to sell canvasses. I can sell prints however, and while I'm still experimenting with ways to do that, I find that cameras have changed a lot since I bought the clunky thing I have now.  My son's £30 camera takes better photos than mine, which was hundreds of pounds back in the day!  So I'm experimenting with ways to manipulate images, transfer them to prints, and so on.  

I don't have incredibly educated things to say about painting - a lot of what artists talk about with painting I don't understand in the slightest.  I just paint.  Sometimes it works.  I'm not trying to enlighten the world, I'm not trying to make pithy comments upon the human condition.  I just paint what I like to - a lot of painting is trying to figure out how to paint the subject in the first place.  My style is changing, which is a good thing as I like more of what I'm producing now.  And the secret to that is: paint more.  Screw up and make mistakes.  Figure out how to fix them (the problem with the Sunna painting is if I can remember how to get the flesh tone I originally mixed in order to paint over the red and do it over again.)  Figure out how to make it work.  Stay comfortable for a little bit, then try to figure out something else.

Granted, sometimes I'm being flippant when I paint.  My black bin for bottles has arrived - my third one since I moved here as the last two disappeared.  I'm fed up with it so rather than just paint my number on it, I'm painting the bin - the lid has a sun motif, then I'll add moon and stars, clouds, the 8 as both Infinity and Ouroboros, the sides will maybe have four seasons.  I'd like to see someone nick it now!   I'm sure people will mutter but if they get worked up over a black bin they have mayhap more time on their hands than I do!

As well as painting I'm making some prayer-beads/witch's ladders for pagan/NorthernTrad/whatevertrad to use.  That's rather fun, and doesn't stress my hands or eyes too much.  Hoping to sell some of those too when the time comes.

The goal is to open shop again in July and get back to work.  I have a somewhat-easier way of shipping work that doesn't involve mile long walks, so will be putting it to the test.

So while waiting for court dates, waiting for hospital appointments, waiting for diagnosis, waiting for paperwork and driving licenses and deliveries and all sorts of other things which seem to be taking ages, I paint.  Sometimes, the results are pretty good.

Spoonie Cooking...because this worries me

If you're chronically ill, disabled, or vulnerable, I don't have to tell you about the slamming we're getting in the media and on the street.  If you're starving, people will tell you you're just buying crap food, or are being dramatic.  "No one starves in England!" gets said a lot, even though this recent blog about a child taking photos of their school dinners is rather shocking.  This wouldn't even be a snack for my son.  Just what are we doing when we allow this level of cuts to our children's nutrition?!  When children are drawing pictures of food and eating the drawings as the Huffington Post reported a few weeks ago?

I have been lucky, because I have known how to prepare for rainy days and have done so for several years.  I also have had the money to do so, and quite honestly many people don't.  It may come as a shock but there are families out there who only have £30 a week for food after the bills are done.  What do they do?  "Just eat less"?  "Buy more fruit and veg" (have you seen the price of either lately?)  Add to this that many of these people are ill or disabled, have dietary requirements, or are too exhausted to look after themselves.  Malnutrition is on the rise among the elderly because of this, and disabled people seem to be malnourished as a matter of course.

I've been watching how the cuts are hitting the disabled and being sold to the public that we "deserve" it.  My heart sinks each time, and even though my pantry is stocked and my freezer is full, my strawberries are in flower and the pear and currants are setting fruit...I know I'm lucky.  I also know I want to be able to feed everyone who is hungry.  I want to make sure people are stuffed to the gills and never worry about eating again.  

I can't feed you in reality, but I can maybe teach you how to feed yourselves.

Recently I've been thinking about putting together an action of linking together ill, disabled, and vulnerable people as a sort of "blogger's ring" on frugal living. People who have particular skills such as sewing, knitting, cooking, brewing, and so on would be invited to share what they know with others who are feeling the financial pinch and are worried about how they're going to feed or clothe themselves once things really hit the fan.  It's an ambitious project, especially considering many of us have our own challenges and may not be able to update regularly.  It's even harder when people may not have the funds for a lot of fancy food, or the mobility to do the market shopping, and sadly I also don't know every single disability out there so I can't cater for everyone.  But, perhaps I CAN raise some awareness out there for people who may not know how to make stock, may not know how valuable a pantry can be, aren't sure how to hunt for bargains, or just don't know what to do with all the beans and rice from a food bank.

So I'm doing a call, a shoutout for people who want to be part of the blog "Frugal Living for Spoonies".  I'm looking for fellow authors who want to contribute with cooking, knitting, or frugal skills adapted for people who may not have the money or energy to do the usual "money saving" tips.  What works for you?  What hasn't?  What foods to eat, what to avoid?  How do you even make the stuff when standing for a few minutes is excruciating or you cannot manipulate knives safely to cut food?  These are all things which many of us struggle with and maybe don't even think twice about, but they're very serious barriers to being able to cook nutritious meals.

Cooking and self-sufficiency is my passion, but it's also a necessity.  Without the amount of preparation I've done over the years, I wouldn't be anywhere near as far as I am now.  And I'm always finding ways to improve.  But I want to share that; I want to at least try and help.  

The old saying goes:  "Give a man a fish and you will feed him for a day.  Teach him how to fish and he will eat for life."  This is my way to teach you how to fish.  And if you want to get in on it, join me at "Living the Best I can - Frugal Living for Spoonies."

Limbo

The Tribunal was adjourned - I've been waiting almost two weeks now to hear anything about a new date.  It seems really strange that they'd take so long...surely they could just get it together and suggest another date and coordinate in record time like the last two times?  But nothing.  Not a word.

A little voice in the back of my head that doesn't want to jinx things says the reason I'm not hearing anything is because they're taking a rare yet totally-within-the-law tack of deciding the case without a hearing.  It can happen, although it's rare.  The opinion I got at the last hearing was that it was patently obvious the current measures weren't working and the LEA had no argument.  Now, they still don't have much of an argument.  Considering how quick (and, therefore, how much a waste of time) the first Hearing was, I wonder if the Panel feels that there's plenty of evidence to make a decision and therefore they plan on doing so.   That's the hope, anyway - at least then I wouldn't be growing more and more exhausted and anxious at the deafening silence which drags on over days.

At a weak moment last week when child was tearing round the house and I was having a flare, I debated whether or not it would -really- be such a bad thing for child to go to the other school.  Okay, so he'd have to share a room....and there seems to be showers rather than baths and child hates showers....and they do a complete-placebo-effect form of exercise and call it a "cure".  But...well, if I had to...?

But my conscience won't let me give in.  Knowing I'd be giving my son over and turning and walking away even though he was terrified, ruining his trust in me...no, I can't do that.  Yes, it's the easy option.  After all the easy option is what the LEA is all about.  Yet I know it's the wrong choice to make.  It's easy to get worn down, though.  I'm tired, I have to get to a hospital in two weeks for some "further investigations" and I've very little energy to play or interact with my son lately.  I just make him food, wash his clothes, get him into his bath.  Housework?  Ha!  I'm lucky if I get a comb through my hair; I'm pretty certain I'm going to end up sleeping while he's off out rather than painting.  Grim, but there you are.

We're holding on, waiting to hear something - anything, really - but I honestly think sitting and waiting about is harder work than preparing for what is coming.  At least then I actually know, and can act.

*Call came in this afternoon.  Hearing is in late June.  And I just realised I have officially been fighting for my son's statement for a year now.  I should maybe have not tried to figure that out as I just feel meh.*

New bit of kit for self-sufficientish

I have been changing my diet a bit to adjust for my more sedentary lifestyle at the moment.  It's not really been that much of an adjustment for me as I have already been eating quite healthy compared to other people I know.  But I've been anaemic off and on for a year and a half, I haven't been as much veg as I'd like, and I often have to compete with child for fruit (so I go without).  I order vegetables then get too tired to prep them so they turn to mush in the bottom of my veg drawer.  What to do?

Recently I scored a book on smoking foods, as well as preserving and drying.  There were recipes for jerky listed in the book and I thought "I know how to do that!"  I do...it's just been years!  I tended to avoid jerky because of the high MSG/salt content but you can make it without either.  So, I decided to buy some nice cuts of buffalo meat and mix up a bit.

The plan went great until I tried to dry the stuff out.  Now, normally, I'd just do this in a very low oven.  But my oven never went low enough.  I had to open the oven door to let the heat out, and this just alerted the cats to the fact they could sneak into the oven and nick the meat out of it!  While I did do it in the end and have some very nice jerky to munch on, it didn't seem the most efficient way of doing things.  Couple this with the fact I almost always end up with fruit going bad in the fruit bowl, I figured I had best figure out a way to preserve what we get.

So I did some hunting about and bought a dehydrator.  I've gone back and forth on one of these for a while as I just couldn't think of why I'd need one.  Son tends to prefer fresh fruit.  He certainly won't eat veggies but for carrots and broccoli, and I doubt I could dry them.  Yes, it would be handy for surplus like my cranapples, for mulberries, cherries and suchlike but would it be worth it?  Would he eat any of it?

The dehydrator arrived and I decided to take some veggies out of the drawer to assemble a "veggie soup mix", something to have on hand if I didn't have enough veg/was too tired to prep veg for bean soups.  I grabbed celery, onion, mushrooms, carrots and diced them up, adding them to the trays.  Son was intrigued by this bit of kit and we decided to experiment with some apples and bananas to make chips.  These were sliced, dunked in a bit of lemon juice and arranged, and the dehydrator was turned on.

I'm pretty impressed!  It's amazing how the veggies shrink down - a full try was nothing more than some scattered bits of dehydrated veggies after six hours!  I have managed to fit two trays of vegetables into one spaghetti sauce jar in my pantry.  As for the fruit?  Needn't have worried - my son has been raiding the dried apple slices almost before they're done.  The bananas take much longer and he can't wait to try them, so I hope the same enthusiasm will be in evidence for those too!  This is good news; it means I can preserve food for us to eat during the winter months when fruit is limited and expensive.  Also means I can do a fair bit with the berries I've got outside such as the ligonberry and honeyberry.  I can grab quick fruit and protein meat snacks when my blood sugar crashes or to help boost my iron levels for the day.

All in all, not a bad thing to have around.  I'm hoping to put this to work once a week to process all the fruit and vegetables we haven't managed to get to.  I also plan to use it for bumper crops - such as when we go strawberry-picking in a month's time.  I tend to freeze surplus but until I get a second freezer, space is limited in the current one (and yes, I'm finally getting one this year, yay!).

So I'm happy with the purchase - will just have to find a place in the pantry for this kit as it's BIG, but shall sort it.

Sigh....

Tribunal has been adjourned yet again.  Oh for...yes, I'm swearing a fair bit right now.  This is the third time we've had to adjourn, and things keep getting drawn out.

Also not horribly impressed that response from LA is from the school saying I was being "unfair" in my assessment as apparently he forwarded the argument to the school.  Also forwarded that the school has been given a new award (made just for academies, how convenient).  Well whoopdie-doo, the school has an award.  My son didn't like the school, that's all I care about.  I can see this isn't going to go well regardless as Mr Stern wanting to "talk" to me is still just about wearing me down as much as possible.

So, now it seems we're postponed.  Again.  At least the sun is shining; I'm trying to get son outside as he's full of beans.